For years, a select crew has watched a terrible movie every new year's eve. A partial chronology follows:
Wow! We didn't see this on new year's, but we might watch it again! Giant killer kangaroos, a pineapple-only diet in a lord-of-the-flies town, and a virgin nymphomaniac with a curious turn of phrase ("part my beefy curtains!") And a cameo by Tina Louise! Yes, Ginger. You'll never think the same about Rodgers and Hammerstein. Check out the official site
Barbara Harris as the overprotective mother who has passed on the family curse to her daughter - when either gets, um, aroused, nearby objects spontaneously ignite. Filmed in the Love American Style school of cinematography (why am I not surprised to find Wallace Shawn in a cameo) this one demands just the right mood. A really hard day at work and some chinese food, perhaps, and this is just the thing.
(I'm not sure if we actually showed it on NYE, but it's within this class.)
A Chris Maddi recommendation. Suppose your gift for your prospective father-in-law (a radio-controlled flying lawnmower) goes awry at a garden party, slicing your fiance into easily managed pieces. You manage to save the head, but not much else. What to do?
Well, if you're an amateur scientist with the ability to reanimate flesh, and you don't
have the budget or talent of Stuart Gordon (Re-animator, Bride of re-animator) then
you head for the red-light zone, blow up a bunch of its denizens, and assemble the
leftover pieces you need to get on with the wedding. I mean after all, the
personality resides in the head, doesn't it? DOESN'T IT?
Arguably a mass-market movie, if anything by John Waters could be mass-market. This was a hit with the NYE viewers poll. Featuring Johnny Depp as a singing greaser , Tracy Lords with her clothes on and her other orifices (for once) as empty as her head. Great appearance by Divine as the matriarch. And songs, too! A Romeo and Juliet story, where a poor little rich girl falls for a guy from the wrong side of the tracks. The prison riot alone is worth the price of admission.
We also checked out the first ten minutes of Love at Stake, a madcap
interpretation of the Salem Witch Trials, with Dave Thomas, Barbara Carrera, and Dr. Joyce
Brothers as an expert witness. Looking at the box, folks, you'd have to say this was
a candidate. But after ten minutes, we were diving for the rewind button.
Well, this was a mixed bag. It started out as a Quentin Tarantino flick, full of believable but overly talkative lowlifes, driving south from a crime gone wrong. Harvey Keitel in a motorhome as a preacher who'd lost the faith. Promising. But after a wrong turn into a Mexican border bar called the Titty Twister, it turns into, as Chris put it, a body parts movie. Granted, some of the parts belong to Salma Hayek, and frequent appearances by Cheech Marin spice things up, but these can't redeem this flick's descent into the ordinary. Fifi did the right thing and left early.
There was another one after it, that we caught while waiting for Tarantino's masterpiece to rewind. I can't remember the name, but it had Roddy Piper (the professional wrestler) as the last fertile man on a planet of militant women. It had promise. If you remember it, write to me. Kinda reminds me of Don Johnson in A Boy and His Dog.
Wait! I found it! It's Hell comes to Frogtown!! With Sandahl
Bergman. Supposedly available on video.Remember, this puppy held onto an audience
that was heading for the door. We basically watched the last 45 minutes of this
turkey over our shoulders, with our coats half on. I may run down a copy of this
1997's big winner, Ed and his Dead Mother
Starring Steve Buscemi, Ned Beatty, and nobody else you've ever heard of, this epic
tale deals with the classic Oedipal theme of a boy who just can't let go. Never mind
that mom is dead, has been dead for six months, when a representative from the Happy
People Company rings his doorbell, Ed is ripe for his unorthodox pitch.
Quirky? You bet. But just the thing for a half-dozen lobster-gorged new year's
Yes, Spice World. We were, well, baffled. To be sure, we didn't watch it until January 2, when 24 inches of record snow and no open restaurants forced us to make do with whatever we had rented. I did like the bus. And Roger Moore was amusing. But none of us could follow it. Chris gave it the thumbs up, comparing it to a Beatles movie. But that was probably brainwashing by Nora.
Godzilla, however, was a big hit. More later.
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